Take care of yourself for your children’s mental health!
As this year's Children’s Mental Health week comes to an end I have been thinking about how our wellbeing and mental health impacts on our children and our relationships with them. It's the equivalent of putting on your own oxygen mask first.
I have been reflecting on how we take care of ourselves and what the positive impacts are for our children when we feel like we are in a good place, and whatever that might mean for us.
I know that my children feel more grounded, secure and happier when I take time for me and my mental health. These are some of the ways that I do this.
I unplug, take some time away from screens and my phone, I get out in nature, or go for a walk or a jog. I love being out in nature and my local park ticks this box for me when I am short of time. With Spring coming I can take time to notice new buds on plants beginning to poke through the ground in people’s front gardens and notice how the sun is shining for a bit longer each day.
Twenty minutes is all you need to get some time and space, if a walk or nature’s not your thing, how about a snuggle on the sofa with a book or magazine, or listening to a favourite piece of music to reconnect with you.
Take time to notice and validate how YOU are feeling. Tell yourself it is ok to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Allow and give space for your feelings, name them and reflect on how they might be impacting on you. Once you can connect with how you feel, and the impact, what might you want or need to do differently? It could be nothing and the awareness is enough, it might be that you need to practise some self care or seek additional help and support.
Journaling is not a thing for me personally unless I am feeling really low or going through something really big like my separation. Talking to others really helps me to connect with my feelings and what I need to do next. If journaling is for you then when was the last time you did it? How can you make time for it in your routine?
If you have never tried it, give it a go. There are some great journal prompt questions out there to get your creative juices flowing. Or write what you are grateful for. Studies show this can help lift mood and help us feel more connected.
Sometimes we can get stuck in our daily responsibilities and when we take time to reach out and make a date to see a friend or loved one. Or call and chat on the phone. We can reconnect with ourselves and feel that sense of belonging when we are in touch with those who love us and lift us up.
Noticing and paying attention to those unhelpful thoughts you are having , noticing them and turning them into helpful thoughts along with radical acceptance. This can be really difficult to reframe thoughts. Things we can try, “this situation is only temporary”, “I have dealt with difficult things before”, “not everything goes my way and I can be flexible”. Can you also STOP and take a moment, change position, breathe and think how else could this thing be/go in the words of Taylor Swift “Shake it Off”!
And when all else fails, rest (snuggle on the sofa), take a nap and restore.
If we can start to do these things for ourselves, how can we help our children to practise these things for themselves, so they can develop these skills to help them navigate life's tough times.
